I need time.

You hurt everyone in unimaginable ways. You live your life only for yourself. You think about no one else. Because of what has happened, I am having to deal with stuff long put away. Sometimes life works like that. You think you have moved on, then something comes to open back up the wound and throw a little salt in it. I feel better than I did, but I don't want to have to talk about some of it. I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready for what i am having to deal with. Everyone has their own things that happen in their life. Each person deals with it differently. Some learn from it and others hold on to it. I let go, but now it is back like it is brand new. Pain just as new as the day it happened. I can't deal with you beacuse I have to take care of myself. i cant worry about taking care of you. You're a big girl. Everything came be fixed no matter what. You just have to want to change. I think you like to hold on to the pain. You need it to gain sympathy. Without it, you might actually have to be nice to people instead of trying to make them feel sorry for you. I don't like you and I really don't want to know you. I don't know what's going to happen on Thanksgiving. I have been told you're too fragile to take what I have to say. You might not be ready to handle it! Well you know what? I wasn't ready to handle you almost dying. I wasn't ready for any of it, but did you ask me first??? NO! Why, because it is all about you. I'm still very angry. You had no right to make everyone feel the way they do. You manipulated people and got EXACTLY what you wanted. But, you have to be the one to suffer. You are the only that has to live in your lonely head and look at an empty apartment. Have fun with that! You won't hurt me anymore!

How could you?

You wouldn't be here to feel the pain
You wouldn't be here to watch it rain
You wouldn't be here to watch me cry
You wouldn't be here to tell us why
But how am I supposed to feel
When I don't even know what's real
How do I feel any other way
When you don't even want to stay
You tried and hurt us all you could
And we don't act like you thought we would
I feel so much anger deep inside
I wish all the pain I could take and hide
I miss the way you used to be
But will you change, we will see......

Life's little suprises

I never realized how much i appreciated silence until i rode home with  both children fighting. Silence has never been more wonderful!